gerdy art: February 2024

Saturday, February 03, 2024

Visual Healing

Visual Healing. June 2023 McConnell Art Center, Worthington Ohio.

A year of Crows. Acrylic on Panel. 2023.

When my dear Mom passed, my friend Jean said it would be a solid year of grieving. I have lost family and close friends, but never imaginable, the loss of my first real angel. It was a solid year. Throw in the pandemic and the realization that our teen children were about to leave the nest was borderline debilitating. Grief presented itself in puzzling manners. The notion of time was suspended, unreal.

Loss was a negative force in my life. It was crushing. I was an insufficient dad, husband, teacher and friend. I stopped making thoughtful artwork.

Emerging from losing her was a gradual return from darkness. Some happier thoughts and big ideas. Maybe a return to a decent dad, friend, and husband.

The work for this show is my journey through the last two years. Stories about mortality, spirituality, and stressors. Coming to terms with loss and change, and rebounding.

Gerdeman Learns to go with the Tide the. Article Matter News Interview

One Solid year. 2023 Acrylic on Panel sold

Leaving the Nest. 2023 Acrylic on Panel

Don't Touch me I'm Broken. 2023 Acrylic on Panel

Starboy(Son of God?) 2023 Acrylic on Panel

Home is Everything. 2023 Acrylic on Panel Sold

Left of the Dial. 2022. Acrylic and Gouache on Panel

A Piece of Steak(the Comeback)After Jack London. 2023 Acrylic on Panel

The Belly of the Beast. 2023 Acrylic on Panel

Sell my soul. 2023 Acrylic on Panel

Crowd Anxiety. 2023 Acrylic on Panel

El Destructos Atomic Circus

El Destructo's Atomic Circus

Why don't we like the things we don't like. 2023. Acrylic on Canvas

El Destructo’s Atomic Circus

Opening July 14 at Secret Studios, Columbus Ohio. Through August.

From a young age, I was mesmerized by the idea of being in a circus. My grandfather bragged about being a roustabout for Clyde Beatty Circus in the 1930s and all the adventures he had. Also, once a year small traveling circuses would come to my village. They would unload a circus train full of wild animals, trapeze artists and clowns on a vacant lot on the south side of town. There was magic, mystery, and wonder in these one-ring circuses. The idea that I could run away and belong to one of these menageries was enticing.

Even at a young age, I sensed that something was not quite right. When I saw Browning’s Freaks(1932) and Goulding’s Nightmare Alley(1948) with the VHS boom in the 1980s, my inclinations were realized. There was a seedy, dirty underbelly in these traveling shows. The circus crew tended to be wayward people just staying ahead of what ever they were running from. In 1984 a crew of carnies attempted to steal my buddy Lenny’s car after a night at the bars. My grandfather’s hubris also came to light. He was a conniver, a liar, and an abuser. The spectacle of a circus life and adventure crumbled.

El Destructo’s Atomic Circus is my coming to terms with the wonders of being a child and the realization that so much of the mystery is a facade full of anti-truths and exaggerations. There is a darkness in each of these pieces, but also childlike wonder. We all have personal circuses that we ringlead and manage. This is my circus.